Coulda, woulda, shoulda been

How different would things have been if I made a different choice somewhere along the road? It’s a thought that comes to me once in a while.

What would have happened if I took the Singapore scholarship when I was in 3rd Year? If I had gone to La Salle or Ateneo instead of UP? If I applied to a need-blind Ivy? If I prepared harder for the Wesleyan interview? If I decided to take up Film? If I decided to go into another field altogether? If I didn’t defer Adcore? If I decided to join JMA or AIESEC? If I decided to join ISA and Broadass? If I decided to run for Maskom Council? If I decided not to join UP Debsoc? If I trained more? If I had higher seeding scores? If I had done better in tryouts? If I decided to adj instead of debate? If I didn’t join OML? If I didn’t go on all those distributions? If I didn’t go into filmmaking? If I didn’t enter Fine Dining into the MIFF? If I didn’t try to find funding for my USA trip? If I went Canon over Nikon? Apple over Blackberry? If I chose a different group of friends?

There are a million what ifs, a million questions, a million coulda beens, woulda beens, shoulda beens. I don’t know the answers. I don’t know what kind of person I’d be if I had taken a left instead of a right a few blocks back. But then again, nobody knows. I can guess, but only God would really know. I’ve realized that it’s pointless to ask “What if?”. It ends only in regret and in fanatic obsession over a lost cause. There is no turning back the clock. There is only the future and there are only my choices. I figure I’ll be happy either way.

They say it’s not about the hand you’re dealt, but how you play it. My second year in college is a month away. How will I play my cards this time around?

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